I have some funny jokes here that I found on reddit:
A DEA agent, together with an ATF and an FBI agent, as part of a task force, arrive at a ranch in western Nebraska. The agents tell the rancher, “We need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA agent verbally explodes saying, “Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government with us.” Reaching into his rear pocket and removing his badge, the agent proudly displays it to the farmer. “See this badge, this badge means we are allowed to go wherever we wish on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear, do you understand?”
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the rancher hears loud screams and spies the three agents running for their lives and close behind is the rancher’s notoriously ill-tempered and territorial bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified.
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…
“Your badges! Show him your badges!”
Q: What did commies use before they had candles?
Two farmers are sitting on a porch discussing politics, and the topic of socialism comes up.
Farmer one: “So, you’re telling me, in this socialism, if you have two barns, I get one of your barns?”
Farmer two: “Yep.” Farmer one: “And in this socialism, if you have two tractors, I get one of your tractors?”
Farmer two: “Yep.”
Farmer one: “And if you have two cows, I get one of your cows?”
Farmer two: “Now wait just a moment! You know I have two cows.”